


I Want You to Know

by Pridia



Series: Knowing [1]
Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Complicated Relationships, Developing Relationship, Episode AU: 2006 Xmas The Runaway Bride, Episode: s02e13 Doomsday, Established Relationship, F/M, First Kiss, First Time, Heartbreak, I'm Bad At Summaries, I'm Bad At Tagging, Insecurity, Interspecies Relationship(s), Interspecies Romance, Marriage Proposal, Nervousness, Post-Episode AU: s02e13 Doomsday, Romance, Unplanned Pregnancy, interspecies pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-17
Updated: 2016-12-26
Packaged: 2018-08-23 01:16:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 21,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8308159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pridia/pseuds/Pridia
Summary: They both wanted the other to know something, but neither got, well, took the chance.





	1. Afraid

**Author's Note:**

> I came up with this story when I read a post on Pinterest, or a similar site, mentioning a theory about the bio-damper The Doctor gave to Donna in "The Runaway Bride". The theory, put short, claimed that The Doctor wanted to give the ring to Rose as an engagement ring because the bio-damper was supposed to make the person who wears it safe(r). I really liked the idea of this. Another running theory is that Rose was pregnant but didn't tell The Doctor, because she didn't want him to destroy a universe or two or three or all of them, in the process of getting back to her. Anyway put the two theories together and you get a heart-breaking story (You'd probably get a heart-breaking story if you'd use only one of the theories as well, but my brain went: why not make an extra heartbreaking story.). I also decided to put a small relationship building process in the story. I hope that you enjoy it. This is my first attempt at writing anything remotely romantic so I hope it's not too bad.
> 
> You can read this story on [Fanfiction.net ](https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12057067/1/I-Want-You-to-Know) as well.

Rose sat on her bed, staring at a point on the carpet.

She was _pregnant_!

For three weeks now, at least, that was what the pregnancy test the TARDIS had provided told her. She had to tell him, but how would he react? Would he panic, party, smile? Abandon her?

_No!_

He would never abandon her if she told him, she was sure of that. But, where was she going to get the courage to tell him?

She put her head in her hands and sighed.

* * *

The Doctor sat on his bed, fiddling with the ring in his hand. He sighed. He had had this ring for 4 months now. But every time when he had planned to ask her, either something interrupted him or he chickened out. Well, if he was being honest, he had chickened out seventeen of the nineteen times he had planned to ask her. The other two times were only different because he got interrupted before he could've chickened out, but he likes to claim that he really got interrupted.

He was the Oncoming Storm, destroyer of worlds, he was a brave man and would face things most people would be running away from, screamingly. And yet here he was, in his bedroom trying to find the courage to propose to a human. Oh, his enemies would be laughing if they could see him like this.

He laid back on his bed and sighed again, he hadn't spent much time in his bedroom since he and Rose had become more than just friends, he either slept in her bedroom or just laid in her bed while she slept, humans still needed much more sleep than Time Lords did.

That was part of the problem, he wanted to have a life with her and yes, marry her. But she was human, she would wither and decay while he would regenerate. And even if he didn't regenerate, Time Lords had a much longer lifespan than humans. when she was old, he would barely have aged.

He knew that he never should've fallen in love with a human in the first place, but yet here he was. He couldn't just leave her, that would break both their hearts. Would that be better than losing her?

_Probably not._

The Doctor had always felt something for Rose, from the moment they had met. His feelings had only become stronger once he had regenerated. What he hadn't known was that Rose had had the exact same. Just after he had regenerated they had both been cautious around the other. Rose was still shocked because he had changed and he had still been getting used to his new body, while he had done his best to get Rose to trust him again. What had happened with Cassandra, had caused both of them to be even more cautious. Both of them had secretly enjoyed the kiss. Rose had told him after they started dating that despite the fact that it was Cassandra who had kissed him, she had experienced it too and remembered it. But, as they had learned from each other later, they had both been afraid that the other had become uncomfortable about what had happened.

After they had left 1879, The Doctor had finally taken her to Barcelona, the planet not the city, like he had promised. She had loved it, just as he had expected. For once, nothing bad had happened. They explored the planet and met with the locals. The Doctor had introduced her to the nose-less dogs, she had thought that they were really cute. They eventually went to the top of this hill, it provided a spectacular view of the forest and the lake behind it. They spent a few hours talking and watching the view, sitting on the top of that hill.

* * *

_The view is beautiful!_

Rose now understood why The Doctor had wanted to take her here. She was glad that they had eventually gone here. It was beautiful, the locals were yellow coloured, about 1 metre and had three eyes. But Rose had learnt by now not to judge by appearance and they turned out to be very friendly and had allowed Rose and The Doctor to explore the planet on their own, that barely never happened, usually, they either didn't walk into lifeforms at all or got escorted by a guide. The Doctor had shown her the nose-less dogs, they weren't at all like she had expected them to be, but they were so cute! Now they were sitting on the top of a hill. They talked the whole time, Rose told him about her life before she met him and he told her about all these planets that he had visited and promised to take her to as many as possible. But now they were both quiet, enjoying the view and each other's company.

Rose really enjoyed her life with The Doctor and they had become good friends. Of course, his regeneration had been a drawback, but it helped that he was a bit more open and likeable than Big Ears, that and she had almost processed the regeneration.

Something he _had forgotten_ to mention until it was _too late_!

Rose thought that the new him was beautiful and she really liked their friendship, but she wanted something more. The problem was that he was an alien, not that she cared, but it would certainly make things more complicated. A bigger problem was that she didn't know whether he felt the same way, she was afraid that Cassandra had caused him to become uncomfortable with her.

_What if he abandons me?_

Rose was really afraid of that happening, would he abandon her? Because she kissed him while being possessed by "The Bitchy Trampoline"? Oh, she had felt and enjoyed that kiss, but she had decided that it was best not to mention it, in case he didn't feel the same way. If he was uncomfortable with being around her, he certainly didn't show it, also he had looked genuinely happy when Cassandra had finally left her body. She was starting to doubt that what had happened had had any influence on their relationship, except for the fact that the urge to just kiss him had become nearly irresistible, but she would probably just scare him away when she did so, so she tried everything to get it from her mind. She looked at him and saw him looking at her. He was smiling and she found herself smiling back. This was starting to become very hard.

* * *

He really should take her more often to places like this, Rose clearly loved it here and he would do anything to please her. What had he done to deserve a friendship with someone like Rose? She was beautiful, brilliant and brave. He had nearly lost her several times, with the Slitheen, the lonely Dalek, the game station and when Cassandra took over her body. Every time when he thought that he had lost her or would lose her, it had hurt his hearts, sometimes it had actually broken them, until she came back and mended them without knowing it, _again,_ she had mended his hearts ever since that first fateful day. But the thought that had hurt the most was the possibility of losing her because he had regenerated and therefore changed.

He was so thankful for the fact that she hadn't left him, he didn't know whether he had convinced her after handling the Sycorax or that she had just given him a chance, maybe both, he didn't really care. They had become good friends again and he really enjoyed travelling with her, but, if he was being honest, he wanted them to become more than just friends. He had been trying to push that thought out of his mind basically since he had taken her to platform 1, to watch Earth being swallowed by the Sun, and had had that thought for the first time.

After all Time Lords shouldn't fall in love, especially not with a human. In the beginning, he had been successful at pushing his feelings away, but it became harder and harder and after his regeneration, it had become impossible. He had finally come to the conclusion that he couldn't ignore his feelings for Rose, but she would probably not want him. He was an alien, why would she want an alien when she could have a perfectly normal _human_ man?

Cassandra kissing him while possessing Rose's body certainly hadn't helped, he was afraid that she was uncomfortable about what had happened or worse being uncomfortable about being around him, it would break his hearts if she would leave him. If she was uncomfortable around him she certainly didn't show it, but maybe she was hiding it. Of course, he could be worried about nothing. He was starting to doubt that what had happened had had any influence on their relationship, except for the fact that the urge to just kiss her had become nearly irresistible, but he would probably just scare her away when he did so, so he tried everything to get it from his mind. He looked at Rose, she was just turning her head towards him. He smiled at her and she answered with her own beautiful smile. Oh, he loved that smile. This was starting to become very hard.

* * *

They looked at each other, both of them fighting the urge to kiss the other. Both of them started to lean in, without being aware of it. Eventually, Rose realised this, pulled back a bit and settled with kissing his cheek. It was more than she had ever given him, so it did satisfy the urge to kiss him enough to resist it again.

* * *

 

The Doctor felt his hearts skip a beat when she kissed his cheek, it was more than she had ever given him, this satisfied the urge to kiss her enough to resist it again. Rose started to lean in on him and rested her head on his chest. He embraced her and kissed the top of her head. This wasn't what he was longing for, but for now, it certainly did the trick. They sat like this for another hour, then the sun set and they finally made their way back to the TARDIS.

* * *

The Doctor smiled, he had been so thick back then. Well, admittedly he was still thick sometimes. He couldn't believe that he hadn't realised that Rose had wanted him as bad as he had wanted her. Their date, as they decided to call it, on Barcelona certainly had marked the beginning of their changing relationship. He loved remembering it.

He sat back up and took another look at the ring. It was a beautiful golden ring covered with small diamonds, it was a special kind of gold from the planet Glortora, it would change to sapphire red when the atmosphere changed as a warning that it wasn't safe. It was also a bio-damper, to keep Rose safer. That was all he wanted her to be, safe. He put the ring back in his breast pocket, where he had kept it for the past 4 months.

If he was scared of asking her to marry him, how in Rassilon's name was he going to survive the trip to Jackie's, when they would finally tell her that they had started to date each other?

He promised himself that he would ask her before the end of the week, how he was going to survive Jackie was a problem he would think about later.

He stood up and walked to the console room.

* * *

Rose smiled, she still didn't know how she hadn't realised that The Doctor had wanted her as bad as she wanted her. Their date, as they decided to call it, on Barcelona certainly was the beginning of their changing relationship. She loved remembering it.

She looked back up again and sighed, they had come so far since Barcelona, but now? She was pregnant. While her mother didn't even know that her friendship with The Doctor had grown into a _romantic relationship!_

Mum would kill him, if she finally heard about it, especially when she learnt that they had been dating for 5 months and that they had visited her 7 _times_! in that time.

But her first problem was telling The Doctor that she was pregnant, she promised herself that she would tell him before the end of the week, how they were going to tell her mother without him getting killed in the process, was a problem they would think of later.

She stood up and walked to the console room.


	2. Sorry, Not Sorry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor and Rose are both trying to find the courage to confront one another. In the meantime, they both think back at their first proper kiss.

* * *

The Doctor walked into the console room and started pushing buttons, he figured that he could take Rose to watch the London Olympics of 2012 and propose to her while they were there. He thought that he shouldn't overdo things and that this would do just fine. He just started programming the course when Rose walked in.

"Morning Rose." The Doctor said as he turned to her.

"Morning Doctor." Rose answered and gave him a kiss.

The Doctor turned back to the console and programmed the course.

"Ready for our next trip?" he asked.

"Do you need to ask?"

The Doctor beamed at Rose.

"Where are we going?" Rose asked.

"Oh, you'll see."

Rose smiled at him and he couldn't help but smile back.

"Here we go!" he said as he pulled the lever to materialise. The TARDIS landed with her normal shuttering. The Doctor grabbed his coat and opened the doors and took a step outside, only to be met by a wall.

"Hah." He proclaimed, then he went back in and closed the doors again.

"The wrong planet, it has a deadly atmosphere, good thing that I'm a Timelord, that saved me, humans would be dead within a second, let's go somewhere else ... preferably safer." He lied and smiled to Rose, who just laughed at him.

"Or, you just don't want to admit that you can't parallel park?" Rose answered who had seen the wall as well.

His smile disappeared. "Oi! You try it." He answered indignantly.

He sulked as he was turning the TARDIS. She landed with another jolt and he opened the door again.

* * *

They decided to spend 2 days watching the Olympics. After the Doctor had mentioned that they were going to the thirtieth Olympiad, Rose figured that it would be a good moment to tell him that she was pregnant, just like The Doctor had figured that it would be a good moment to propose to her. Both of them were extremely nervous about carrying out their plans.

Fortunately, the trouble with the Isolus managed to distract both them from the task that they still had to do. But after saving the day and sending the Isolus back to its family, both of them quickly became nervous again. The only reason that neither of them noticed that the other was acting strangely was because they were both too busy with their own mission.

* * *

The Doctor and Rose entered the TARDIS laughing.

"You were right, Papua New Guinea indeed surprised everyone in the shot put, I just didn't expect that he would lose his footing and fall, nor did I expect that he somehow still managed to throw it 21.73 meters while falling!" Rose said.

"And gaining the Bronze medal in the process." The Doctor added.

"Anyway, I really enjoyed the Olympics, we should do things like this more often." she said and then smiled.

"Oh, yes." He agreed.

Rose yawned. "I'm going to bed, you coming?"

"Uhmm, no, there's something that's malfunctioning and I need to fix that, it will take some time so don't wait for me."

"Okay." Rose turned and went towards her... _their_ bedroom.

* * *

The Doctor heard the door of their room close and sighed. He still hadn't asked her and 3 days had passed since he promised himself to ask her within a week, so there were only 4 days left or he would break the promise to himself. Oh, he wanted to spend her life with her, maybe even have kids. He would love to have kids with her, but he didn't know if they could have them, they weren't the same species. But their species were very similar so it could work and even if it couldn't work they always could go and find a different way, he was certain of it. He chuckled, here he was already planning on the next step, while he still needed to ask her to marry him. Of course, it was certain that he would outlive her. But he figured that he would at least have fun and a good time with her.

He had realised that he loved her and wanted to marry her for the first time, when he saw what the wire had done with her, he had been so angry that her face was stolen and that they had left her on the street. He had been so relieved when he saw her with her face again. It was also that night that they (properly) kissed for the first time.

* * *

Rose sat down on her bed and sighed. She still hadn't told him that she was pregnant yet and 3 days had passed since she promised herself to tell him within a week, so there were only 4 days left or she would break the promise to herself. Oh, she wanted to have this baby with him, spend her life with him maybe even marry him. She would love to marry him. Of course, she didn't know how it worked on Gallifrey. But she figured that they would make the best of it and figure it out together, something they have been doing ever since their first real kiss.

She had realised that she loved him and wanted to spend her life with him when she had been taken by the wire. She remembered his reaction to seeing her. she had remembered everything. She had been so relieved when she got her face back and it had been fantastic to see his smile when he saw her after that. It was also the night that they (properly) kissed for the first time.

* * *

Rose was standing next to the console and looked at The Doctor, who was sending the TARDIS back into the time vortex. They had just left 1953, she had spent hours trapped in the telly, it was so empty and creepy there. She didn't fancy going back there soon, or rather at all. But when she was stuck she couldn't do anything but think and she had realised something. She loved The Doctor. Of course, she had known that she felt something for him earlier, but now she was certain about it, she loved him. But he was an alien, of course, she had considered that earlier, but it really was an issue. She knew that she shouldn't make a move on him, she didn't know how much relationships on Gallifrey differed from relationships on Earth. So she was uncertain of what to do now.

The Doctor finished sending the TARDIS into the time vortex, and looked up at Rose, saw that she was looking at him and walked over to her.

"Hey," He grabbed her hand. "Are you okay?"

"Yes, I think so."

"You're certain?" He moved his free hand to cup her cheek.

"Yeah, but it was weird, being trapped in there, creepy and empty but also something else," she paused. "I can't explain."

"You don't have to, it's over, probably will never happen ever again and we're safe back in the TARDIS."

Rose nodded and The Doctor smiled at that.

"How about going somewhere to relax? I think that both of us can do with some relaxing."

"That would be nice. Where are we going to?"

"Hmm... I was thinking of going to the beaches of Jatzakortaz, it's a very nice planet and the beaches are beautiful."

"Yeah?" Rose smiled at him.

"Yeah." He looked into her eyes, she was beautiful, he wanted to kiss her lips so bad that he just gave in to the urge. And in the next conscience moment, he was pressing his lips to hers. It felt so good to feel her lips on his, but then he realised what he was doing and pulled back quickly, blushing.

* * *

To say that Rose was shocked would probably have been the understatement of the ~~century~~ _milenia!!!!_

_Did he just?! Nah, I must've imagined it._

But then she saw the fact that he was blushing.

_Oh. My. God!_

"Sorry." He managed, barely audible, looking at the floor, his face could have auditioned as a role model for the perfect colour of a tomato.

Rose looked at him, dumbstruck. She wanted to ask him what that was, but she couldn't find her voice.

* * *

What had he _done_!

He just ruined everything. He looked up and saw that Rose was looking at him, definitely in shock about the fact that he just kissed her, out of the _blue_!

But he was certain that once she was over the initial shock she would slap him into his next regeneration or something similar and then leave him. His hearts nearly broke at just the thought of it. He needed to stop her. He gulped and tried to find his voice.

"I.. I... I... I'm... I'm sorry, I... shouldn't have... I'm sorry. I... didn't...think." He finished lamely as his gaze got back to the floor.

* * *

Rose eyed him cautiously, trying to find her voice.

"No, you're not."

"What?" The Doctor's head shot up.

"I don't think that you're sorry."

It was The Doctor's turn to be shocked. She smiled and took a step closer to him.

 _He is the one who started this, I might as well act on it._ Rose reasoned.

She closed his hanging jaw, cupped his cheek and kissed him. It took him a few moments to recover from the shock but eventually he started to kiss her back.

The kiss grew more passionate by the second.

The only reason they eventually parted was because they both needed air. Both of them were panting but smiling.

The Doctor eventually broke the silence "Rose? What just happened?"

"I think that we just started something new." She grinned at him and he couldn't help but grin back. "How about we're just going to watch a nice film in the living room?"

"Sounds good to me." The Doctor smiled. "Let's go find a film."

"Okay."

Rose gave him a quick peck on the lips, grasped his hand and pulled him with her towards the living room.

This was certainly something he could get used to.

* * *

The Doctor smiled at the memory. He really hadn't meant to kiss her, he didn't even know why he had done it, but it turned out to be the best thing he could've done. Now he needed to do another thing that he certainly wouldn't regret: asking her to marry him. But he was still wondering how he was ever going to find the courage to do this. He sighed and climbed under the console to find and fix the part that was malfunctioning.

* * *

Rose smiled at the memory. She knew that he hadn't meant to kiss her, he had never told her why he had done it, she doubted that he knew it himself, but it was the best thing he could've done. She sighed, another good thing he had done was getting her pregnant. But she didn't know whether he would agree on that and she wouldn't know until she told him.

She changed into her pyjamas, she noticed that she was running out of fresh clothes. The TARDIS had enough clothes in the wardrobe, but she preferred her own clothes and she wasn't very keen on using the washing machine the TARDIS provided. She decided that she would get The Doctor to take her to see her mother tomorrow. It had been two weeks since she had last seen her, but that was because of Elton, it hadn't actually been a proper visit. So they would go there again _tomorrow_ , no matter how much The Doctor would complain. She turned the lights off and climbed into bed. Within five minutes she was fast asleep.


	3. Doomsday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The thoughts and feelings from both The Doctor and Rose during their conversation on the beach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter isn't going to be AU, it's just going through the same conversation as in canon. But the thoughts and feelings of the characters are different.  
> This story will be an AU from the next chapter on.
> 
> To avoid confusion Rose's thoughts are in Italics and The Doctor's thoughts are in italics and underlined

Rose leant against the white wall, her hand was pressed against it, she was crying. Her heart was broken. "No..."

* * *

The Doctor walked slowly towards the same white wall, but in a different universe. His hearts were broken. He laid his palm against the wall, then he rested his head there, with his cheek towards the wall while he stared blankly into nothingness.

* * *

As if she sensed that he was there, Rose put her cheek against the wall, just like The Doctor had.

* * *

He was thinking about the ring in his breast pocket, the ring he would never be able to give to her, now he had lost her. He was inwardly cursing himself for putting asking her off so long. He had wanted her to know how much she mattered to him and that he wanted children with her, whether naturally or not he didn't care. But, maybe it was better that she didn't know. She would've been hurt her even more if they had been engaged.

* * *

She was thinking about the baby that she was carrying, the baby she would never be able to tell him about, now that she had lost him. She was inwardly cursing herself for putting telling him off so long. He had a right to know, she had wanted him to know that and how much he mattered to her. But, maybe it was better that he didn't know. She had a feeling that if he knew, he would've destroyed universes or something like that, just to be reunited with his child and its mother. He had told her that travelling between universes was impossible.

Of course, there was the question how much different Time Lord pregnancies from human pregnancies were.

* * *

The Doctor let his hand slide down the wall, he reasoned that it could've been worse, at least she was still alive.

* * *

Rose let her hand slide down the wall, still leaning against it, she knew that she had to tell her mum, Mickey and her dad that she was pregnant. She was afraid of her mother's reaction to that information. Especially since The Doctor and her hadn't even mentioned that they were dating to her.

* * *

The Doctor turned away from the wall and walked away from it, expressionless. But he was determined to find a way to talk to her one more time, he knew that it was possible. But first, he was going to find out wherever Torchwood had stored his TARDIS.

* * *

Rose turned away from the wall, she was still leaning on it. She figured that she could better tell them right away and get it over with. She took one last breath and went towards them. Her mother pulled her quickly into an embrace as she broke down again, sobbing in her mother's arms. She tried to regain her composure, she knew that she had to say it now, it would only hurt more if she waited any longer to say it.

"Mum..." She somehow managed to say through her tears.

"Yes, sweetheart?"

"I...I...I...I am..."

_Oh, why is it so hard to say three words?_

"What is it, sweetheart." Jackie encouraged her. Rose just burrowed her face in her mother's jacket.

"Pregnant." Rose finally managed, it was a bit muffled by the jacket but everyone in the room understood it and reacted in shock.

"It's his, isn't it?" Mickey asked. He knew that it was devastating for her to lose him, Mickey had glimpsed how much Rose cared for The Doctor and visa verse. But that he was the father of her unborn child would hurt her even more. Worse was the fact that since he was an alien, her child would also be part alien. An alien species of which they knew next to nothing. How were they going to raise that child?

Rose just nodded at Mickey's question.

Jackie sighed if the situation had been different she would've slapped the living thing out of that alien for getting her daughter pregnant. They hadn't even _mentioned_ that they were dating, let alone _sleeping_ together!

She realised that he probably didn't know that she was pregnant. The way he had acted around Rose was caring, she had to give him that. No matter how much she didn't like her daughter being around him, she had to say that he did care about her. But, he hadn't acted much different than usual, not like how she would expect him to care for his pregnant … er _girlfriend?_ Of course, it could've been that they were trying to hide it from her until they had the guts to tell her. But she figured that he wouldn't have insisted on her going to this universe if he had known.

"Does he know?" Mickey asked her, having come to pretty much the same conclusion as Jackie had, especially since he had been spending more time with The Doctor than Jackie had and knew better how The Doctor had acted around Rose.

Rose shook her head, still sobbing in her mother's jacket.

"I...I...I was... I was going to."

"Oh, sweetheart, I'm so sorry. We'll figure it out." Jackie planted a kiss on Rose's forehead.

"Let's go to my house, take some rest and we'll figure out what to do next tomorrow, okay?" Pete suggested and both Mickey and Jackie nodded in agreement as they turned and led Rose out of the building and towards the Tyler mansion.

* * *

Rose and her family drove up on the beach. They parked and went out of the jeep.

"If he's here, if you can speak to him. Will you tell him?" Mickey asked her, it had been three months since the battle of Canary Wharf, which meant that Rose was about four months gone, the doctors they had visited (all of them from Torchwood, since it was an alien baby.) had told them that if they hadn't known better, they would've thought that she would've been just over a month gone. They hadn't worried too much about this and figured that it was because Time Lord babies didn't develop as fast as human babies would.

Rose sighed. "I don't know. I've been thinking about it, but I just can't decide what's best."

Jackie nodded at this. "Just remember that whether you tell him or not, we're here for you." She squeezed Rose's shoulder in comfort.

"No matter what." Mickey added and Pete nodded in agreement. Despite the fact that they were now officially broken up he was still her friend and he wouldn't leave her alone to deal with that baby.

Rose walked away from them further on the beach, she was nervous. What would she say to him? Despite the fact that she had been working on her 'speech' for months now, she had no clue.

* * *

The Doctor leant on the console, the TARDIS was spinning around a supernova. He had everything in place to open up the gap in the universe and talk to Rose. But what was he going to say?

_I wanted to propose to you, I just wanted you to know so your heart can break even more._ Yeah, that was going to sound comforting.

He finally decided to just do it, that he would make it up as he went along, something he always had been good at. He took a deep breath and opened the hole. One half of the TARDIS was beach and the other half was still normal. He saw Rose standing there, he saw some sort of beach.

* * *

Rose turned and saw The Doctor.

"Where are you?"

"Inside the TARDIS." his voice echoed

* * *

"There's one tiny little gap in the universe left, just about to close." He rambled a bit to avoid the real goodbye a bit, despite the fact that he knew that it wouldn't work. "And it takes a lot of power to send this projection, I'm in orbit around a supernova. I'm burning up a sun just to say goodbye." He finished with a small smile.

* * *

"You look like a ghost." Rose was shaking her head a bit, it was just weird to see him like that, so fake.

"Hold on." He pulled out his sonic screwdriver and aimed it at something invisible, Rose assumed it was the console, and activated it. Soon the hologram became much clearer and he looked solid. Rose walked over to him and raised her hand to touch his cheek.

"Can I t...?"

"I'm still just an image. No touch." He answered regretfully, he would've given anything to be able to just hug her, snog her like it was the only thing keeping him alive. No matter that Jackie was standing there and would see them. He would gladly take a slap to do just that.

"Can't you come through properly?"

_ Of course, I can't, otherwise I would've done that instead of this stupid projection! _

"The whole thing would fracture. Two universes would collapse."

"So?" She asked half joking. He smiled at that. They looked at each other for a moment both thinking.

* * *

The Doctor had finally decided that he wouldn't tell Rose about the ring that was still burning a hole in his breast pocket, that he had wanted. _Still wanted!_   to marry her and have children with her.

* * *

Rose, however, was still torn between telling him and not telling him. He had a right to know, but what would he do if he knew, would he actually make two universes collapse to be with his child? She knew him very well, but even _she_ wasn't sure whether he would do something like that or not.

The Doctor looked around. Looking for something to talk about, which didn't involve a goodbye.

"Where are we? Where did the gap come out?"

"We're in Norway."

"Norway. Right." He nodded.

"About fifty miles out of Bergen. It's called 'Darlig Ulv Stranden'."

"Dalek?" He asked surprised.

"Darl- _ig._ " She corrected, "It's Norwegian for 'bad' ."

The Doctor stared at her.

"This translates as 'Bad Wolf Bay'." They both laughed at the irony of that, but sober almost immediately.

Rose took a breath.

"How long have we got?" Her voice cracked.

"About two minutes..."

She almost laughed at how absurd the situation is. "I can't think of what to say."

_Or better, whether I should tell you that I'm carrying your child._

The Doctor laughs too. Then he glances over at Jackie, Pete and Mickey.

"You've still got Mr Mickey then?"

_well, here goes nothing._

"There's five of us now. Mum, dad, Mickey..." She hesitated a tiny bit, "and the baby."

_WHAT!_

"You're not...?" He looked shocked and the look in his eyes told Rose that he would indeed destroy two universes if she said yes. So she shook her head slowly and said.

"No." She laughed, "It's mum."

The Doctor laughed with fake relief and looked over at Jackie. He knew Rose and he had the dreadful feeling that she was lying to him, but he wasn't going to say that. If she told him that she was pregnant he would rip the universes apart just to be with her and his, no _their_ child. He figured that would be the reason Rose lied, so he wouldn't do that. He silently promised himself that once the conversation was over he would look up Rose's medical record in the TARDIS and find out the truth.

The TARDIS scanned her passengers including him, for deadly diseases every time they walked inside the TARDIS, well she scanned everything but it would only give an alarm if it was deadly. He never understood why it didn't give an alarm if there was just something wrong (like a cold or something) as well since she did scan everything. But that didn't matter now, he could look up whether she was pregnant or not when they went into the TARDIS on their way to Torchwood.

But he promised himself, that if he would learn that she was indeed lying to him about the fact that she wasn't pregnant, that he wouldn't go rip the universes apart. She wouldn't want that, she made that clear with lying to him now.

"She's three months gone. More Tylers on the way."

"And what about you? Are you...?"

"Yeah, I'm... I'm back working in the shop."

He nodded.

"Oh, good for you."

Rose laughed. "Shut up. No, I'm not. There's still a Torchwood on this planet, it open for business." She could feel the tears burning in her eyes. "I think I know a thing or two about aliens."

"Rose Tyler. Defender of the Earth." He says proudly.

They looked at each other for another moment. The Doctor was still thinking about the possibility that she was pregnant but didn't show it, nor did he look down at her stomach. He knew that if she indeed was pregnant of him, she wouldn't show yet since Gallifreyan pregnancies lasted a little over 2 years, 27 months if he was exactly. And the Gallifreyan DNA would be dominant so it would be closer to a Gallifreyan pregnancy then a human pregnancy. Not that the pregnancies differed much besides the length. But she was pregnant for about 3 months, 4 months max., at least if what she told about her mother went for her.

"You're dead, officially, back home. So many people died that day and you've gone missing. You're on a list of the dead."

He saw that Rose started to cry. And could feel his hearts breaking at the sight. He tried to cheer her up.

"Here you are." He smiled "Living a life day after day. The one adventure I can never have."

"Am I ever gonna see you again?" She was sobbing now.

"You can't." He answered quietly. He wished that it wasn't true, but he knew the facts.

"What're you gonna do?"

"Oh, I've got the TARDIS. Same old life. Last of the Time Lords."

"On your own?"

He nodded solemnly, he looked at her.

"I lo..." She choked on her tears. "I love you."

"Quite right, too." He said softly.

Rose nodded, smiling through her tears.

"And I suppose... if it's one last chance to say it..."

He paused and locked his eyes with hers.

"Rose Tyler I..."

But he faded away before he could finish his sentence. Rose sobbed even more and put her face in her hands. She turned to her mother, who came running towards her and pulled her into an embrace.

"Did you tell him?"

"No, I mentioned a baby but I told him it was yours." Jackie nodded, understanding.

* * *

She was gone and he hadn't been able to say that he loved her. Of course, she knew it, but he had never actually told her so. He was crying, his hearts broken. He swallowed hard and closed his eyes. He felt like going to Rose's/their bed and sob until he had no tears left, but he decided that he wanted to know whether she had been lying to him or not, before he would allow himself to break down, otherwise he would probably break down twice and he was better than that, at least he was telling himself that. So he dried his tears and walked around the console, getting the TARDIS to fly away from the supernova and after he did that, he would look up Rose's medical record.

Suddenly he looked up, his eyes widened with shock. There was a bride standing by the door, with her back to him.

"What?" He exclaimed confounded.

The bride turned towards him and yelped with surprise.

"What?!" He proclaimed confused.

"Who are you?" The bride exclaimed disdainfully.

The Doctor looked around, dumbfounded. "But..."

What the hell is this place?" she yelled.

"What?!"


	4. The Runaway Bride - Part 1

The Doctor looked at the bride in shock, then he looked around to find an explanation as of why there was a bride in his TARDIS.

"You can't do that, I wasn't... we're in flight! That is physically impossible! How did... ?" he stutters.

"Tell me where I am. I demand you tell me right now where am I?" the bride commanded him.

The Doctor stared at the bride, he realised that he probably wasn't going to get rid of the bride anytime soon.

Well, there went his plan of finding out whether Rose was pregnant and then crying until he had no tears left in their bedroom.

"Inside the TARDIS." he answers her question.

"The what?"

"The TARDIS."

"The what?"

"the TARDIS!" he snapped and turned to the console. He was so not in the mood of dealing with an angry ginger at the moment.

"The what?"

The Doctor took a deep breath and tried to calm himself, he was always easily irritable when he was sad, but even he was shocked to find that he had lost control within a minute of questioning. Rose would've said that he was being rude and he would've answered that that was him, rude and not ginger.

_Ow Rose._

He could feel the tears burning in his eyes as he remembered the events of his regeneration. He quickly pulled his thoughts back to the bride that just had appeared in the TARDIS. He couldn't cry now! He had to sort her out. Besides, he didn't know her, for all he knew she was trying to steal the TARDIS or something, although she didn't act like she planned to be here. But either way, he didn't want to show weakness, that just wasn't him.

"It's called the TARDIS."

* * *

Donna looked at the strange man for a moment, she could see that he was trying to keep himself together. But she wrongly assumed that he was trying to contain his anger.

"That's not even a proper word. You're just saying things."

The man looked at her.

"How did you get in here?" He snapped again.

"Well, obviously, when you kidnapped me. Who was it? Who's paying you? Is it Nerys? Oh, my god, she's finally got me back. This has got Nerys written all over it." She was rigid now.

* * *

The Doctor looked at the bride, the confusion about her being here finally got him to forget his grief, for now at least.

"Who the hell is Nerys?"

"Your best friend." She answered as though it was obvious.

"Yeah, well last time I checked I don't have a friend named Nerys and I doubt that you know more about my friends than I do!" then he looked down at the dress. "Hold on, wait a minute... what're you dressed like that for?"

"I'm going ten pin bowling." She answers sarcastically, then she yells "What do you think, Dumbo? I was halfway up the aisle!"

The Doctor quickly thought about the ring in his breast pocket and how he wanted to tell Rose that he wanted to marry her, but now never would be able to do so. And of course, the first thing the universe had to give to him after losing her without her knowing that he wanted to marry her, was someone who was about to get married. He knew that he still would've been in the same situation if he had told her, only her heart would've been more broken than it was now. Although he didn't think that was possible, he couldn't imagine her looking more heartbroken on that beach. But in a way he actually wanted her to know, despite them not being able to ever marry, at least she would've known how much she meant to him. He could feel tears burn in his eyes again, he gulped the pain away. He wondered how he was going to survive the day if he kept thinking about Rose like this.

"I've been waiting all my life for this." The red-headed bride pulled him out of his thoughts."I was just seconds away! And then you... I dunno, you drugged me or something!"

"I haven't done anything." _Well, except saying goodbye to my Rose._ He quickly shook his head out of his thoughts again. This really was going to be a long day.

"We're having the police on you! Me and my husband, as soon as he is my husband, we're gonna sue the living backside off ya!"

"What have I done?" The Doctor asked while he was operating the controls, trying to distract himself from his grief.

"You ruined my _wedding!_ "

"Did I?" He looked up at her, thinking. "I doubt that, I was just here busy, with things that didn't involve weddings." He paused a minute, thinking about Rose, again. He swallowed the lump that had formed away. "Well, at least not directly." he murmured softly, his voice cracked at the last word. He quickly turned back and concentrated on the controls. He hoped that she hadn't heard that and decided that he probably should stop talking now, or she would certainly hear it.

* * *

Donna looked at the man, she had heard what he said and wondered what he meant with that, he obviously hadn't meant for her to hear that. And she would've sworn that she had heard his voice crack. She briefly wondered what happened to him before she got here, but then she remembered that he had kidnapped her. She looked around the console room and noticed the door.

_Her way out!_

She rushed towards them.

"No, wait a minute! Wait a minute! Don't...!" she could hear him say urgently behind her, while she opened the door.

_What!_

* * *

The Doctor sighed at the sight of the shocked bride and walked slowly over to her.

"You're in space. Outer space. This is my... spaceship. She's called the TARDIS." He told her gently.

"How am I breathing?"

"The TARDIS is protecting us."

"Who are you?"

"I'm the Doctor. You?"

"Donna." The Doctor looked her up and down.

"Human?"

"Yeah. Is that optional?"

"Well, it is for me."

Donna glanced at him.

"You're an alien."

"Yeah."

They both stood in silence for a moment, until Donna shivered a bit.

"It's freezing with these doors open."

The Doctor slammed the doors shut in answer and darted back to the console, his grief temporary forgotten in favour of the mystery with the bride.

"But I don't understand it and I understand everything! This..." He turned back to Donna. "this can't happen! There is no way a Human being can lock itself onto the TARDIS and transport itself inside. It must be..."

He grabbed an ophthalmoscope and used it to look into Donna's eyes, while he started muttering an endless flow of techno-babble.

"Impossible. Some sort of subatomic connection? Something in the temporal field? Maybe something pulling you into alignment with the Chronon shell. Maybe something macro mining your DNA within the interior matrix. Maybe a genetic..."

He never got to finish that sentence as Donna slapped him hard.

"What was that for?" He asked indignantly.

"Get me to church!" She yelled as an answer.

"Right! Fine! I don't want you here anyway! Where is this wedding?" He asked while he dropped his instruments and went back to the controls.

"Saint Mary's, Hayden Road, Chiswick, London, England, Earth, the Solar System."

The Doctor looked up at her. "I do know how to find London, thank you very much. Been spending a fair amount of my time there." _Especially with Rose._ He quickly shook his head to clear the thoughts of Rose, he couldn't allow himself to think about her while he solved this mystery. he could do that afterwards

* * *

Donna huffed, she was missing _her_ wedding, she had been looking forward to this so much. She had wanted to get married and get children as long as she could remember and now that she was so close to fulfilling the first step of that, she got abducted by a flipping alien.

That's when she noticed a blouse hanging over one of the railings and snatched it up.

"I knew it. Acting all innocent." she said accusingly as she walked over to him with the shirt.

"I'm not the first, am I? How many women have you abducted?"

* * *

The Doctor looked up from the controls to find out what in the name of Rasilon she was talking about. Only to see Rose's shirt and feel his grief coming back ten times as strong. He needed all the strength he had to keep himself together and tried to answer her like nothing was wrong.

"That's my friend's." Despite his efforts, he failed to keep his voice from cracking.

* * *

Donna noticed this, and let her hands fall to her side. She realised that it was a sensitive topic and that she hadn't imagined his voice cracking earlier. But she had always been stubborn and despite the fact that she didn't know the man she was determined to find out as much as possible. She did however decide to be nice about it.

"If it's your friends, where is she, then?" she asked.

* * *

"She's gone." His voice all shaky now and he stopped fumbling with the controls. At this point he had no idea how he was still keeping himself together, well at least partly. His voice was the evidence of him failing at that and he could feel the tears burning behind his eyes and not for the first time this day.

_Oh, for the love of everything that's holy, please drop the topic._

But of course no such luck.

"Gone where?" She asked sympathetic now. The Doctor was trying everything within his powers to keep the tears from falling. He kept silent for a minute, trying to find his voice

"I lost her." He finally answered in a whisper, at this moment the truth hit home, even harder than before and the tears started to fall. He staggered back to the pilot seat and sat down slowly. He knew for certain that she had seen the tears, but he didn't care at this moment, he wouldn't be able to hide them anyway. He sat there a moment, trying to gather himself.

* * *

Donna hung the shirt back on the railing and sat down next to him. She saw that he was trying to keep himself from breaking down completely and she gathered that she'd better stopped asking for more information, or the man might actually have said breakdown.

Despite the fact that she was missing her wedding, she waited patiently until the man gathered himself. She knew that his loss had been very recent and apparently very painful and she knew that it wouldn't do him any good if she forced him to gather himself and bring her to the wedding. She could see that he was already doing his best to do that, but was just failing.

* * *

Eventually, The Doctor managed to pull himself again by reminding himself that he needed to bring a bride to her wedding. He dried his tears and looked at Donna. He didn't bother to fake enthusiasm like he usually did when he was feeling sad, he just knew that at this point he wouldn't manage and besides she probably wouldn't buy it, she had already seen the truth.

"Right! Chiswick." He said without emotion as he stood up and walked back towards the controls and landed the TARDIS.

* * *

Well, to say that the day wasn't going very well for The Doctor would be a hell of an understatement. Starting off with a painful goodbye to the love of his lives, then less than 5 minutes later a bride shows up in his TARDIS, who keeps accusing him of abduction, he still had no clue as for how she appeared there. And she wasn't being very helpful in finding that out since she had been trying to get rid of him ever since she appeared. Okay, if he was being honest he was trying the same thing, but not because he wanted time to grief the loss of Rose, certainly _not._

Okay, that was exactly the reason, but even with that reason, which wasn't a bad reason, at least he thought that, he was trying to solve the mystery. Especially since said bride got kidnapped by the same robot Santas he encountered last year, in a

Especially since said bride got kidnapped by the same robot Santas he encountered last year, in a _taxi._

The Doctor knew that after he rescued her he couldn't leave her alone until he solved the mystery, but first things first.

_Saving her._

* * *

He had steered the TARDIS towards the motorway to find the taxi. Now the difficult part was getting her to jump out of the taxi. He had a feeling that she wouldn't exactly feel up to it. He put the strings he had attached to the controls between his teeth and went towards the doors and opened them. He was greeted by Donna staring at him, with hands pressed against the window of the taxi.

"Open the door!" He yelled at her.

"Do you what?"

"Open the door!" He repeated.

"I can't, it's locked."

The Doctor grabbed his sonic and unlocked the door as an answer. After this, Donna opened the window.

"Santa's a robot." She told him unhelpfully.

"Donna, open the door."

"What for?"

"You've got to jump!"

The robot driver turned his head slightly after The Doctor said that.

"I'm not bleedin' jumping, I'm supposed to be getting married!"

The Doctor internally sighed at that, he had been hoping that he was wrong with thinking that she wouldn't feel like jumping.

No such luck.

At that moment the robot put his foot down and the taxi overtook the TARDIS. The Doctor pulled on the string to get back next to the taxi. This resulted in explosions from the console. The TARDIS banged on the roof of the car of a man and then pulled back in line with the taxi. He struggled to regain his balance, then he soniced the robot and disabled it.

"Listen to me, you've got to jump."

"I'm not jumping on a motorway." She answered stubbornly.

"Whatever that thing is, it needs you. And whatever it needs you for, it's not good." He added screaming. "Now, come on!"

"I'm in my wedding dress!" She yelled back.

"Yes! You look lovely! Come on!" He answered annoyed.

Donna finally opened the door and positioned herself ready to jump. The Doctor held out his arms so he could catch her.

"I can't do it." She said fearfully.

"Trust me." The Doctor answered calmly.

"Is that what you said to her? Your friend? The one you lost? Did she trust you?"

The Doctor winced at that and felt the tears coming back, he quickly swallowed them to answer Donna and magically enough he managed to keep his voice normal.

"Yes, she did. And she is not dead. She is so alive, I just can't reach her. Now, jump!"

Donna finally jumped with a scream and landed on top of The Doctor in a heap on the floor. The doors slammed closed.

* * *

The Doctor looked up at Donna, who was catching her breath and preventing him from getting up.

"Could you... get off me?"

Donna looked at him, she had totally forgotten he was there as she was processing what just happened.

"Right, yeah sorry." She quickly got of him.

The Doctor quickly got up and landed the TARDIS on a roof. The console was smoking heavily.

* * *

Donna quickly went out of the TARDIS, she still thought that the box was weird but it was better than getting abducted by a robot Santa. She looked at her watch and saw that it was just past half three. She had missed the wedding.

The Doctor coughed and spluttered as he was trying to extinguish the fire in the TARDIS from the door. When the fire was under control he joined her.

"The funny thing is, for a spaceship, she doesn't really do that much flying. We'd better give her a couple of hours." Then he noticed that Donna seemed deflated. "You all right?"

She shrugged. "Doesn't matter." The Doctor gulped.

"Did we miss it?"

"Yeah."

"Ah... well, you can always book another date..." he was trying to cheer her up a bit.

"Course we can." She answered, still deflated.

"Still got the honeymoon." He tried again.

"It's just a holiday now." she corrected him, obvious not in the mood for cheering up.

"Yeah... yeah... sorry." He said giving up.

"It's not your fault."

"Oh, that's a change."

"Wish we had a time machine. Then we could go back and get it right."

The Doctor gulped at that, telling her that the TARDIS was a time machine had convinced Rose to come with him that very first time. He was so thankful for the fact that he thought of saying so, just in time. Although he wouldn't have broken his hearts if he hadn't. But better a broken heart than no heart at all. Although he was doubting it at this moment. For the umpteenth time that day he swallowed the lump in his throat away and answered her.

"Yeah." he didn't feel strong enough to try saying more.

Donna noticed that the man's thoughts had gone somewhere else and she suspected that they had gone back to that girl again. She was wondering whether she had said something that reminded him of her. She wanted to ask him but she knew that he might break down again and she didn't want to cause him more pain. So she just sat down on the edge of the roof.

* * *

The Doctor sighed, he needed to give her a bio-damper but the only bio-damper he had at this moment was the engagement ring he had for Rose. Of course, Donna's life was in danger, so it being the engagement ring for Rose shouldn't stop him from giving it to her, but still, just thinking about giving that ring to another woman than Rose hurt. He removed his jacket, draped it around her shoulders and sat down next to her.

"God, you're skinny. This wouldn't fit a rat."

He chuckled at that. "That's a new one." He sighed.

"What?"

"I... Those creatures can trace you. And well, I should give you a bio-damper. That should keep you hidden. But..." He trailed off, trying to find a way to say it.

"You don't have one?" He sighed once more.

"That's not exactly it." That's when he realised he still had the ring in his jacket he just gave her.

 _brilliant_ _!_

"Then what is it?" Donna gathered by now that he didn't want to say it despite the fact that he had started saying it.

The Doctor sighed again.

"It's in my breast pocket." He said barely harder than a whisper, he knew that it wasn't an explanation but he was hoping that she could guess it at least partly.

* * *

Donna looked at him questioningly for a moment before she opened the breast pocket of his jacket and went through it. There was only one thing in there and she pulled it out. It was a ring, a beautiful ring dare she say it. It was gold and covered with little diamonds. She guessed that this was that bio-damping thing. She wondered what The Doctor's problem was about it. But then she realised that it was a little too beautiful to be just for protecting someone. What if the ring wasn't made to protect someone, but just a ring that also protected the person who was wearing it.

_The ring means something to him._

That was the conclusion she eventually made, considering that he didn't want to give it, even if it was just temporary, to her and how beautiful it was. It looked a bit like an engagement ring. Donna stopped to ponder on that.

Why would the man carry a ring in his breast pocket and be hesitant to give it to her, just to protect her? Then she remembered that he evidently was grieving over someone and she was about 99% certain that it was about a girl.

_Oh no!_

She was so hoping that she was wrong about this. What if it didn't just look like an engagement ring, but _was_ in fact an _ungiven_ engagement ring!?

* * *

The Doctor looked mournfully at the ring, he hoped that she wouldn't guess what the ring was but at the same time he hoped that she did. He saw a look of realisation appear on her face, which told him that she had made a conclusion. He gulped and waited until she said something. What she said first wasn't exactly what he was expecting.

"It's a beautiful ring."

"Yeah." He for once didn't try to keep his voice normal, he had a feeling that he simply wouldn't be able to do so, this was a conversation he really didn't want to have at the moment, preferably never.

"It isn't made for being that damping thing that you mentioned, is it?"

"No. It's a bio-damper, but that isn't... wasn't... no... isn't its primary purpose." His voice was thick with emotion. The tears were treating to fall again and he knew that he wouldn't be able to keep them in if this conversation would go on.

But if he was going to give the ring to Donna, even only for a few hours to keep her safe, she had to know what the original purpose of the ring was.

* * *

Donna looked him in the face and saw that he was just looking at the ring, she could see the tears in his eyes, but she had to ask it. And evidently, if he would give her this ring to protect her from those robot things, he wanted her to know the truth, or he wouldn't have started telling her. By now she had realised that he had let her come to the conclusion by herself. Probably because he couldn't manage to say it without properly breaking down, he already looked like he was about to break down anyway. So she took a deep breath and voiced her suspicion.

"It was for her, wasn't it." She saw that his tears started to fall at that.

He just nodded. He didn't even make an effort to stop the tears from falling and just sat there. He finally turned away from the ring and looked blankly at the city.

Donna sighed again, she felt so sorry for the man. He had saved her life, even though she had been mean to him the whole time. And she was certain that she had caused him more grief that he already had, by the things she had said out of anger. But here he was, considering to lend her _that_ ring to protect her. Even though it evidently broke his heart, even more, to do so. She had to confirm her suspicions, for his sake.

"You were going to propose to her, weren't you?" She heard him taking a deep breath

"Yeah." He answered quietly his voice cracking.

They both sat in silence a moment. Until the Doctor spoke once more.

"You can wear it, for your safety. but... " He took a deep breath. "I want it back in one piece." Donna nodded at that.

"I'll take good care of it." She put on the ring carefully and saw that The Doctor was drying his tears.

"So, come on then. Robot Santas, what are they for?" She decided to drop the topic, for now at least.

"Ah, your basic robo-scavenger. The Father Christmas stuff is just a disguise. They're trying to blend in. I met them last Christmas." The Doctor answered he was glad about the change of topic.

"Why, what happened then?"

 _What!_ He looked at her.

"... Great big spaceship? Hovering over London? You didn't notice?" He asked in disbelief.

"I had a bit of a hangover."

"A bit? Sounds more like the hangover of the century." Donna laughed at that.

"You might be a tiny bit right." The Doctor smiled at her and scanned the landscape.

He nodded in the direction of the Powell Estate.

"I spent Christmas Day just over there, the Powell Estate. With this... family. Well, my girlfriend's family, only we weren't together back then, we were just friends." His voice cracked again. "One of the best Christmases I've ever had. Despite the fact that I was sick for the better part of the day."

 _Well, apparently I am horrible at avoiding this topic, aren't I?_ He gulped again.

"Still... gone now."

"What did you have?"

"Hmm...?" He looked at her questioningly for a moment, when the penny dropped. "Oh, ehhmm. I used this alien body process to ehmm save my life but it went a bit wrong, it changed my body and it had trouble adjusting. Every time I use that process I need rest to cope with the side effects but that one was particularly nasty. I hadn't explained it to her, the process in itself and I changed, my character and my physical appearance. She didn't believe that I was still me. It really hurt seeing her look at me like that, no clue who I was. Well, it was partly my fault that I never explained it to her, but... I didn't expect that I would have to do it so soon, besides it was common knowledge among my people, so I didn't think about it. Happily, I could convince her that I was still me, didn't took me long, I managed to do it before I collapsed. After that, she was really worried about my health. Can't blame her. I felt horrible and I guess that I looked it too. But eventually, it was a brilliant Christmas." Somehow he managed to forget about his grief while telling the story, but he started to remember it again. "We never told her mother that we were.. ehhm... dating, she didn't exactly approve of me, especially not in the beginning. I do think that she told her mother about it by now." he sighed.

"Who was she?"

"Her mother? Probably the scariest women I've ever met." He answered, knowing perfectly well that she meant Rose. "Rose, Rose is just... Rose. I don't know how to explain her, well she is beautiful, clever and just brilliant" He talked proudly about her.

"How did you met?"

"I blew up her job." He laughed at the memory. Donna just raised an eyebrow.

"You blew up... her job?" He nodded.

"Yeah, Henrik's about two years ago, just before the shop-window dummies started moving, it was connected by the way. I didn't just blow up the building because I could. I ran into her two more times and she saved my life. So, I asked her to come with me in the TARDIS."

* * *

"What happened to her?" Donna tried, he was talking about her now, maybe he would tell her what happened to the girl, she somehow didn't think that the girl had left voluntary.

"Question is, what do camouflaged robot mercenaries want with you? And how did you get inside the TARDIS? I don't know..."

Donna was disappointed that he didn't answer the question but she understood that he didn't want to, so she let him.

He contemplated her. Donna sighed at this.

"What's your job?" He asked as he pulled the sonic screwdriver out of his jacket pocket.

"I'm a secretary."

The Doctor scanned her with the screwdriver.

"It's weird, I mean, you're not special, you're not powerful, you're not connected, you're not clever, you're not important."

Donna did her best not to make a hurtful comment at this and whacked the screwdriver aside.

"Stop bleeping me!"

The Doctor stopped at that and thought things over a bit.

"What kind of secretary?"

"I'm at HC Clements. It's where I met Lance. I was temping. I mean, it was all a bit posh really. I'd spent the last two years at a double glazing firm. Well, I thought. I'm never gonna fit in her." She paused remembering it. "And then he made me a coffee. I mean, that just doesn't happen. Nobody gets the secretaries a coffee. And Lance, he's the head of HR! He don't need to bother with me! But he was nice, he was funny. And it turns out he thought everyone else was really snotty too. So that's how it started, me and him, one cup of coffee. That was it."

"When was this?"

"Six months ago."

"Bit quick, to get married..."

"Well... he insisted." Somehow The Doctor doubted that.

"And he nagged... and he nagged me... and he just wore me down and then finally, I just gave in."

"What does HC Clements do?"

"Oh, security systems, you know... entry codes, ID cards, that sort of thing. If you ask me, it's a posh name for 'Locksmiths'."

"Keys..." The Doctor mused.

"Anyway, enough of my CV. Come on, it's time to face the consequences. Oh, this is gonna be so shaming. You can do the explaining, Martian-boy."

"Yeah. I'm not from Mars." Donna nodded at that.

The Doctor stood up and lend her a hand to help her up.

"Oh, I had this great big reception all planned. Everyone's gonna be heartbroken."


	5. The Runaway Bride - Part 2

"You had the reception without me?" Donna asked angrily.

The Doctor looked around and felt his hearts drop, just being at a wedding reminded him of...

_No!_

He shook his head, he really needed to keep himself together, at least for now. He would never be able to find out what's going on with Donna and stop it if he kept thinking about...

_Rose._

He swallowed, how was he going to do that if his thoughts kept trailing off?

"Donna... what happened to ya?" A man whom he assumed was Lance asked.

"You had the reception without me!?" Donna repeated evidently angry, almost screaming now. Justified he thought.

He actually felt angry about that fact himself. He wouldn't even consider having the reception if Rose would disappear all of a sudden from their wedding.

_Oh..._

He shook his head, cursing himself for letting his thoughts trailing off.

_Again!_

There was an awkward silence and he decided to break it.

"Hello! I'm The Doctor." He said matter of factly. He was too broken to even try to fake some happiness, but happily, he could keep himself from looking sad. Well, of course, he didn't know how it looked to other people but he thought it was convincing enough to fool the humans.

At least if they didn't know him.

He was certain that someone like Sarah Jane would be able to sense that something was wrong as soon as she laid an eye on him.

But she wasn't here, nor were any of the other people who knew him good enough.

The only person who knew he was sad was Donna and she had fortunately enough dropped the topic, however, he didn't doubt that she would pick it up again sometime, she just didn't strike him as the kind of woman to leave sensitive topics alone, at least not for too long.

Donna turned to him.

"They had the reception without me!"

"Yes, I gathered." He answered with a hint of anger in his voice now. One which didn't go unnoticed by the guests and certainly not by Donna.

* * *

She blinked at The Doctor and wondered why _he_ was angry. He had just met her, saved her life even though she had been snapping at him the whole time. Then she remembered the engagement ring she was wearing, the one that was supposed to be for a girl named Rose. And she mentally slapped herself.

_Of course!_

He had wanted to marry himself. She suspected that he was angry because he probably wouldn't even consider having the reception without his bride if something similar would happen to her. He would probably go searching for her himself, just like he went after her when she got kidnapped by the Santa robot.

In a way that warmed her heart for the girl, but at the same time, it broke her heart. From what she had seen so far this man certainly deserved that woman. Yet, he had lost her.

She really had to find out what happened once this was over, she wasn't going to let him go without telling her. She could just tell that he needed to tell someone but sensed that he wasn't someone who would talk quickly about things. She would push him to tell it, but she vowed to comfort him in the process.

Alien or not, he needed someone to comfort him.

"Well, it was all paid for, why not." a woman said.

* * *

The Doctor felt himself getting angrier at that remark, he certainly was going to have words with certain people if they kept hurting Donna like this. He knew he had no reason to care, but despite only knowing her for about 2 hours, he somehow already felt like he had known the woman for years and felt protective. Almost like a brother.

_Wait, where did that come from!?_

Somehow the thought didn't bother him. He found that he somewhat liked the idea.

Donna, who evidently wasn't very happy with that comment either, snapped. "Thank you, Nerys."

_So that's the infamous Nerys._

"Well, what were we supposed to do?" An elder woman said as she started to walk towards them. The Doctor suspected that she was Donna's mother and quickly decided that he didn't like her. "I got your silly little message in the end. I'm on Earth? Very funny. What the hell happened? How did you do it? I mean, what's the trick, because I'd love to know."

_What!_

The Doctor found himself fuming at that as everyone started talking.

_She nearly died! And they think it was a joke! Who in their right mind would pull a prank like this!? On their wedding day!_

He was about to take a step forward and stop this when Donna started to cry. Lance quickly hugged her and everyone but Nerys applauded.

The Doctor found himself concerned at that, but she turned to him and winked, making him smile at that.

_Blimey, she's a good actress._

* * *

A few minutes later the party had fully started again, Donna was happily dancing with her fiancé and The Doctor had found himself at the bar. Considering whether he would get himself a drink, it would probably make his pain go away, at least temporary. But he knew that he shouldn't even be considering this, especially since he needed to find out who was after Donna. That would be a lot harder when he had had a few drinks, even while he could drink more alcohol than a human before being drunk. He knew that Rose wouldn't want him to lose himself because she was gone, but still, she _wasn't here!_ He sighed and ordered a glass of water.

After he got the water, he borrowed the phone of a man and looked up HC Clements. He quickly looked around to see no-one looking at him and soniced the phone to find what he was looking for quickly. He felt his hearts drop as he read the result.

**H. C. Clements**

**Sole Prop.**

**TORCHWOOD**

_Brilliant._

He closed the phone and gave it back to its owner.

* * *

Donna was dancing with Lance and having fun, the fact that she had missed her wedding and that they had had the reception without her was all but forgotten. She would make a fuss about it later, but for now, she would just enjoy herself. She would worry about whoever was after her when the party was over. Then she would worry about the well being of The Doctor.

Thinking of him she glanced at the man and saw him on the verge of tears again, her heart sank to her stomach at that, he certainly wasn't having such a good time. She was about to tell Lance she would take a break and go yo The Doctor to check on him when she saw the first tear fall, in response to that he started quickly walking towards the restrooms. She sighed internally, feeling sorry for the man. Something must've reminded him of the girl he lost. She was certainly going to worry about the Martian's well-being.

* * *

The Doctor quickly walked into the restroom, tears streaming over his face. He walked towards the sink and cupped some water in his hand and then ran his hands over his face, while he tried to regain his composure. He hoped that nobody had seen him. He was glad to notice that the restroom was empty, so he could have a moment to himself.

It had been going just fine until he had seen a man and a blonde woman dancing, it had reminded him of when he had caught Rose on New Earth after Cassandra had left her body. Remembering that had been all that was needed for the tears to start falling again. With him unable to stop them. He looked at himself in the mirror and sighed. He looked horrible, his untameable hair was even worse than normal and you could tell from his red eyes that he had cried. He grabbed a paper towel and dried his face. He took a deep breath and walked back into the party. There he noticed the man who was making the video record of the wedding and went to him to watch the video. Everything went downhill from there.

* * *

"You shouldn't even exist. Way back in history, the fledgeling Empires went to war against the Racnoss they were wiped out." The Doctor told the Empress of the Racnoss.

The day had gone from bad to worse, he had discovered that Donna had been poisoned by a deadly dose of Huon particles, which couldn't be hidden by a bio-damper so Donna had given the ring back to him on their way to HC Clements, the guests of Donna's wedding had been attacked by floating and _exploding_ Christmas baubles and now he was talking to the Empress of a presumed extinct species, one that had been purposely wiped out by the fledgling Empires, where the Time Lords were a part of, for a _very_ good reason. Worse was that he suspected that Lance knew more about all this and he had a feeling that Donna would be heartbroken once she learned and he had a dreading feeling that he was going to be the one that would have to bring her the bad news.

_Great._

Speaking of Lance The Doctor noticed him on a balcony above the Racnoss, he gestured to them to be silent.

_This isn't going to end well._

"Except for me." The Racnoss told him.

"But that's what I've got inside me, that Huon energy thing. Oi! Look at me, lady, I'm talking." Donna tried to keep the Racnoss' attention from Lance. "Where do I fit in? How come I get all stacked up with these Huon particles? Look at me, you! Look me in the eye and tell me."

"The Bride is so feisty." The Racnoss answered.

Lance was sneaking up behind the Empress with a fire axe, The Doctor didn't want to see the ending of this. But couldn't turn away either.

"Yes, I am! And I don't know what you are, you big thing, but a spider's just a spider and an axe is an axe! Now, do it!"

Lance swung the axe. The Empress turned at him and hissed. Lance stopped the axe in mid-air and started laughing, the Empress joined in. The Doctor felt his hearts break for the second time this day, but this time for Donna's sake.

"That was a good one. Your face." Lance said throughout his laughing.

"Lance is funny." The Empress said.

"What?" Donna asked confused.

"I'm sorry." The Doctor said it was the only thing he could say. Donna turned to him with a questioning look.

"Sorry for what?" Then she turned back to Lance. "Lance, don't be so stupid! Get her!"

The Doctor sighed internally she wasn't getting it, so he would probably have to explain it to her. Something he wasn't looking forward to _at all_.

"Got, she's thick." Lance started mockingly. "Months I've had to put up with her. Months. A woman who can't even point to Germany on a map." The Doctor felt his anger at the man rise, that might be true but she surely was good at something! And it certainly wasn't a reason to be so mean to anyone!

"I don't understand." Donna said, looking very confused.

"How did you meet him?" The Doctor asked her solemnly, having worked it out ages ago. Not being able to believe that the man had done this to Donna. He certainly wouldn't have done something like this to Rose.

He quickly pushed the thoughts of Rose away again and focused on the matter at hand.

Breaking Donna's heart in the most gentle way he could think of.

He had a feeling he would fail at the second part. Being gentle about things like this wasn't exactly one of his stronger points.

"In the office."

"He made you coffee."

"What?"

"Every day, I made you coffee." Lance put in, he was not helping with the second part of the plan either.

"You had to be dosed with liquid particles over six months." The Doctor added.

"He was poisoning me." Donna realised.

"It was all there in the job title. The Head of Human resources." The Doctor said, with a hint of anger in his voice.

"This time, it's personnel." Lance added.

"But, we were getting married." Donna stated.

"Well, I couldn't risk you running off. I had to say yes. And then I was stuck with a woman who thinks the height of excitement is a new flavour Pringle. Oh, I had to sit there and listen to all that yap yap yap. Oh, Brad and Angelina. Is Posh pregnant? X Factor, Atkins Diet, Fen Shui, split ends, text me, text me, text me. Dear God, the never ending fountain of fat, stupid trivia. I deserve a medal."

The Doctor was fuming at the end of Lance little speech. Not able to grasp how he could be so heartless! He might be oblivious to the feelings of others himself sometimes, but even he knew that this was just painful to hear for her.

"Oh, is that what she's offered you? The Empress of the Racnoss? What are you, her consort?" The Doctor snapped, barely containing his anger.

Lance was a little put off by the look the angry Time Lord was giving him but quickly regained his composure.

"It's better than a night with her."

"But I love you." Donna said. Her heart broken.

The Doctor's hearts broke even more at that, remembering Rose saying it to him, but him being unable to say it before the connection broke. The only difference was that he actually loved Rose back, well, there were more differences but that was the most important one.

"That's what made it easy." Lance turned towards The Doctor. "It's like you said, Doctor. The big picture. What's the point of it all if the human race is nothing? That's what the Empress can give me. The chance to go out there. To see it. The size of it all. I think you understand that, don't you. Doctor?"

The Doctor hadn't expected it, but somehow Lance had managed to make the Time Lord even more angry at him. At this point, The Doctor would have no problem showing Lance just why he was called the Oncoming Storm. Oh, he vowed to make him sorry for what he had done to Donna. However, his thoughts got interrupted by the Empress.

"Who is this little physician?"

"She said Martian." Lance answered.

"Oh, I'm sort of homeless." The Doctor answered, stepping closer to the pit. "But the point is, what's down here? The Racnoss are extinct. What's going to help you four thousand miles down? That's just the molten core of the Earth, isn't it?"

"I think he wants us to talk." Lance said.

"I think so, too." The Empress responded.

"Well, though! All we need is Donna."

"Kill this chattering little doctor man."

"Don't you hurt him." Donna exclaimed.

"No, no, Donna. It's all right." The Doctor told her.

"No, I won't let them."

"At arms." The Empress said.

The robots pointed their guns at The Doctor.

"Ah, now. Except." he tried to say.

"Take aim!"

"Well, I just want to point out the obvious."

"They won't hit the bride. They're such very good shots."

"Just, just, just, just, just hold on. Hold on just a tick. Just a tiny little tick. If you think about it, the particles activated in Donna and drew her inside my spaceship. So reverse it, and the spaceships comes to her." He turned the knob on the Huon container.

"Fire."

the TARDIS materialised around The Doctor and Donna.

"Off we go!" The Doctor shouted.

"My key! My key!" The Empress screamed as the TARDIS dematerialised.

* * *

The Doctor went quickly to the console and put in the coordinates to go back to the beginning of the Earth. He stayed quiet sensing that Donna needed a moment, just like she had been giving him all day long. That and just seeing her heart getting broken like that had reminded him of Rose, he would never have done that! And he couldn't imagine Rose doing it to him, after everything she had done to save him. She was even willing to sacrifice her ability to see her own _mother_ for _him_!

But it had gotten him to think of Rose again and he really had a feeling that the next time something reminded him of Rose, he would break down properly and just sob for a very long time. In fact, he was starting to feel so bad that he just wanted to break down as soon as this thing with the Racnoss was solved. Sod finding out whether she's pregnant or not.

He just couldn't take the thought of being without Rose anymore and there was a fair chance that he would just regenerate on the spot if he found out that she was pregnant with his child if he didn't take some time to grieve over her loss first. He didn't care that it might mean that he would break down twice. Just bottling his feelings up for the better part of the day had done that to him, it was getting too much to handle, even for him. He glanced over at Donna and saw that she was shuddering and that there were tears pouring down her cheeks.

He sighed and quickly turned back to work on the controls. Now that wasn't helping his need to break down. _At all!_

He really needed to figure this out _quickly!_

* * *

Donna sat down on the pilot seat, she felt miserable. She never expected that Lance would do something like that! Chosen a giant spider over her! And all those things he had said about her, was he right? Was she really as annoying as he had said? She wasn't clever at all, and she was ugly, and she had always been a disappointment to her mother, she always told her so. She suspected that the same went for her father and grandfather, but they had just always hidden it. She was just so worthless, she wasn't good in anything except annoying people and messing things up. Like the time this Martian needed to grieve the loss of the girl he loved.

_Wait!_

Donna's head snapped up and she looked at said Martian, he was working unenthusiastically on the controls to god knew were. He really looked like he was on the verge of a breakdown, he most likely was too. If she was being honest with herself he had looked sad almost the whole time she had been with him. She hadn't realised it until they had talked on the roof. Before that, she hadn't paid any attention to him at all, except to categorise him as an annoying alien thing that kept her from getting married.

She had been too busy with getting back to her wedding to realise that the opposite was true and had really said some hurtful things to him. Yet, he hadn't even hesitated to save her life. Three times! She realised that he felt pretty much the same as she did now. If it felt this bad, how had he managed to keep himself together to some extent the whole time?

She took a deep breath and wiped her tears. It wouldn't be fair for her to cry when he had been fighting against his heartbreak the whole day. She pushed the thoughts of Lance, as she made a decision, away. She would make sure he was going to be okay after this thing with the giant spider was done. Then she would allow herself to grieve over what Lance had done once she was home again. He arguably deserved to cry more than she did. And she was getting the feeling that he had nobody to turn to for comfort. She might be a disappointment for her grandfather and father but they would always be there when she needed them. After everything the Martian had done and was doing for her, she could at least offer him a shoulder to cry on.

She stood up.

"So where are we going?" She asked him.

* * *

The Doctor's head snapped up at that, he had not been expecting her to say something for a while.

"You okay?" He asked her softly, she sighed.

"No, not really." She admitted and he nodded understanding. "But I will be. And are you going to answer my question?"

"Right." He decided to drop the topic, just like she was. Knowing that it would probably become too much for him. "You know, _you_." He pointed at her. "Mentioned having a time machine earlier today, I know it was a bit jokingly but!" He spread his arms enthusiastic, in fact, he was the most enthusiastic he had been all day. "Guess what I've got."

"A time machine?" Donna answered in awe.

"Yup, and we're going to use it. We need to find out what the Empress of the Racnoss is digging up, right?" She nodded. "If something's buried at the planet core, it must've been there since the beginning. So..." He left her to figure it out herself, sensing that she needed that, though he didn't exactly know why.

"We're using this Time-Machine of yours to see it?" she guessed.

"Yep, brilliant. Molto Bene!" He sighted, the enthusiasm suddenly gone. "I've always wanted to see this, but..." He let the sentence trail, not trusting himself to finish it without breaking down. He realised there were a lot of things he avoided in the fear of breaking down.

She put her hand on his shoulder in comfort, understanding exactly what he meant.

He shook her hand off his shoulder and went back to the controls, solemnly. As Donna watched him, quite concerned about him.

* * *

They were both quiet for the rest of the trip until The Doctor announced.

"We've arrived. Let's have a look."

"Okay."

He swings the monitor round.

"Oh. That scanner's a bit small. Maybe your way's best."

He went towards the door, Donna following him.

"No human's ever seen this. You'll be the first."

"Oh, stop it. I'm not even worth the honour."

"Why not?" He turned to her, surprised.

"I'm worthless, just like Lance said. I can't even point to Germany on a map. I really can't, I've never been good at reading maps." She answered, deflated.

"What? Everyone is not good at something."

"I'm not good at anything."

"Yes, you are."

"I'm sure you can't name anything."

"You're brilliant at yelling? Slapping? Really, you'd give Rose's mother a run for her money." He rubbed his cheek and sighed at the memory of Jackie Tyler.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For everything." He sighed again.

"So am I, you're a good person Donna. You don't deserve this mess."

"Nor do you."

He hung his head.

"I doubt it. I've done so many things wrong. So many people died, Donna." He looked back up. "Because I wasn't there in time to save them. And …." He took a deep breath, trying to calm his emotions for the umpteenth time that day.

"But you tried, didn't you?"

He looked up at her and nodded. "But I failed."

"But you tried, that's all that counts. I think that as long as you try to help other people, whether you succeed or not, you're a good person."

"Say that to all those people who have died!" He almost screamed that last part, tears were running down his cheeks once more. Though for a different reason this time. Donna sighed internally, realising that this man had been through more than anyone ever should, that the loss of that girl had just been the latest in an awful lot of painful events for him. She also realised that he was broken, or on the brink of breaking and she had the feeling that it was a wonder that it hadn't happened before. He hadn't told her anything about himself but she just knew, she felt like she had known him for years instead of hours.

"If you hadn't been there at all, would those people have died anyway?"

He considered this for a while and nodded.

"Then why do you feel bad about it, if it wasn't your doing that they've died? Right."

He looked at her with a sad face. "I just feel like I could've done more to save them."

"You tried everything you could didn't you?"

He nodded once more.

"Okay, let me rephrase my question. If you hadn't been there at all, how many people who are still alive would've been dead?"

He looked up at her, shocked at that question.

"Err." He knew the answer. The whole universe would've been dead if he hadn't blown up Gallifrey with the Daleks because the war would've extended to the whole universe, but he wouldn't tell her that.

So he just shrugged at her.

"You don't want to say or you've saved so many people that you lost count?"

He stuck op two fingers to indicate that it was the second option, though it was actually both.

"So why do you feel bad, a lot of people, including me would probably want to hug you for saving their life."

"You want to hug me?" He asked her.

"Of all what I said, that's the thing you ask? But yeah I suppose."

He grinned at her and opened his arms, she walked right into them and gave him a huge hug, one he really needed.

They stood like this for a few moments when The Doctor spoke up.

"We should probably find out whatever the Racnoss has buried in the middle of the Earth before they find out how to reverse the trick I just pulled." He moved reluctantly out of the hug and opened the door.

"Donna Noble, welcome to the creation of the Earth."

Donna's mouth dropped open at the spectacular sight. The sun was shining through beautiful coloured dust and gas clouds. Enormous rocks were floating around.

"We've gone back 4.6 billion years. There's no solar system, not yet. Only dust and rocks and gas." He points at the Sun. "That's the Sun over there, brand new. Just beginning to burn."

"Where's the Earth?" Donna asked.

"All around us... in the dust."

"Puts the wedding in perspective. Lance was right. We're just... tiny."

The Doctor resisted the urge to groan at that, Lance had really crushed the little bit of self-esteem she had had. Instead, he tried to make her see it differently.

"No, but that's what you do. The human race. Making sense out of nothing. Marking it out with weddings and Christmas and calendars. This whole process is beautiful, but only if it's being observed."

"So, I came out of all of this?"

"Isn't that brilliant?"

A massive chunk of rock floated lazily.

"I think that's the Isle of Wight."

They laughed.

"Eventually, gravity takes hold. Say, one big rock, heavier than the others, starts to pull other rocks towards it. All the dust and gas and elements get pulled in, everything, piling in until you get the..."

"Earth." She finished.

"But the question is … what was that first rock?"

A star shaped rock emerged through the clouds.

"Look." Donna said.

"The Racnoss." The Doctor whispered.

* * *

He had figured it out, there was a Racnoss web at the centre of the Earth. And they had needed a key to get them out of hibernation. Which had been in the form of Donna and then Lance filled with Huon particles. He had been too late to save Lance, but he had managed to save Donna. Well, with saved he meant causing her to crash into a wall. Well, he wasn't perfect. Now he had revealed to the Racnoss that he was from Gallifrey and had started to drown the Empress and her children.

He was heartbroken and really angry at the turns of event. It wasn't the Racnoss' fault, but she was the perfect opportunity for him to unleash his anger. He wasn't thinking about the fact it wasn't her fault that she was that way. But he was just a hundred percent done with everything and the Racnoss was a victim of that.

Donna looked up at The Doctor. What was he doing, that spider thing might've been trying to kill her and The Doctor. But this was just cruel. He had given her an opportunity and only given his identity after she declined. And he just stood there, just looking, while she was screaming in pain. It really scared her and she realised that something had snapped inside him, causing his bad side to show and he needed to get pulled out of that. So she yelled at him.

"Doctor! You can stop now!"

He looked at the Racnoss a moment longer but then snapped out of whatever it was and looked down.

"Come on! Time I got you out!"

They ran up the stairs and Donna heard the Empress say.

"Transport me!"

They climbed on a ladder.

"But what about the Empress?" She asked him

"She's used up all her Huon energy, she's defenceless!"

* * *

The Doctor climbed out of the hatch and they climbed up the Thames Flood Barrier. They looked at the remains of the star and realised that the Racnoss had been destroyed. However, neither of them cheered at that. The Doctor didn't because he was just too heartbroken for it and Donna didn't because she sensed this. Donna had expected him to give in to his heartbreak the moment they had seen that the ship of the Racnoss had been destroyed. But evidently, that was not the case. They stood there for a few moments when she noticed something.

"Just... there's one problem." She knew that his grief could hit him like a wrecking ball at any moment now, but decided to say it anyway.

"What's that?" He looked at her questioningly.

"We've drained the Thames."

He turned to the Thames again and noticed it as well. Rose would've thought that it was hilarious.

_Rose._

The fact that he had lost her hit him again, but this time like a freight-train going a good 500 miles an hour. Even if he had wanted to he wouldn't be able to stop himself from breaking down now. He didn't try however as he was tired of it. He let the tears fall.

Donna saw this and pulled him into a hug, he let out a sob and he fully leant to her, she could feel that his knees were failing to support him, so she carefully lowered him to the ground, he was sobbing freely now. It was that she knew better but she just couldn't imagine that this was the same man that had just saved the Earth from being eaten by spiders less than 5 minutes ago.

But he had fully deserved the right to cry now, so she just held him as he grieved the loss of the girl he loved.

* * *

The TARDIS materialised across the road from Donna's house. Donna stepped outside as The Doctor emerges in the door-post. She turned to him, he really looked horrible. His hair was just sticking up everywhere and his eyes were red from the tears. His clothing was ruffled. She felt so sorry for him and Rose. He had cried for about 3 hours then she had gotten him to tell what had happened and he told her that Rose got trapped in a different universe and apparently he had just said his last goodbye to her before Donna had arrived inside that box.

He had told her that he hadn't been able to tell her that he loved her before their time ran out. He had also told her that Rose might be pregnant with his child, Rose had told him about a baby but then had said that it was her mother's. But he said to Donna that he suspected that she had lied about it being her mother's. He had told her that he could find out with the TARDIS whether she was pregnant or not before they separated.

She knew that he needed a friend, someone who could just prevent him from doing stupid things and be there to comfort him. She wouldn't be that person. That box was driving her mental. However, there was one last thing that bothered her.

"What about those particles, am I going to die?" She asked him. The Doctor scanned her.

"Nope! All the Huon particles have gone. No damage, you're fine." He managed a small smile at her.

She nodded at that. "Okay." She wasn't feeling very well, she had missed her wedding, lost her job and became a widow on the same day. But she wasn't going to mention that to him, he was still heartbroken and having to hear her problems probably wouldn't help him. She could deal with it on her own, with the comfort of her own family.

"I'd better get inside." He nodded.

"So... what will you do with yourself now?" He asked her, he wanted her with him. She had made him feel better and he wanted her to keep doing that, as a friend. He needed one.

She looked at him, she wanted to start with telling that she wouldn't get married, but that would probably be another arrow to his heart. "I'm not gonna temp anymore. I dunno... travel... see a bit more of planet Earth... walk in the dust. Just... go out there and do something."

"Well, you could always..." He trailed off, afraid of asking it.

"What?"

"...come with me?" He said tentatively.

Donna felt her heart break at that, he wanted her to come with him. Probably to comfort him, she couldn't deny that he needed that. But she just couldn't. Not at this moment. She sighed and took a few steps towards him and pulled him into another hug as she told him.

"I can't. I don't think that I'll be able to handle that, certainly not now."

"Okay." He sounded a bit disappointed.

"I'll tell you what though, I won't forbid you to pop by if you want." She pulled back.

He nodded at that. "Thank you, Donna."

She smiled at him, she would've invited him for Christmas dinner but she knew that he was not in the mood at all. Nor was he looking presentable.

"Just... promise me one thing."

"Yeah?"

"Find someone to be your friend."

He nodded at that.

"Cause I don't think you should be alone, especially not now. But you also need someone to stop you sometimes."

He nodded once more.

"Yeah." He paused. "Thanks then, Donna, good luck, and just... be magnificent."

It was her turn to nod.

He turned back into the TARDIS and closed the door. The TARDIS shot up in the night sky. Donna watched with a sad smile and then walked home.


	6. Life's Tough

They were in the Zeppelin on their way back to London, Jackie was embracing her daughter as said daughter was understandingly distressed after saying goodbye to the love of her life. Mickey and Pete were in a different room, discussing the policy of Torchwood, not that much got done. Both of them kept getting distracted by the thought of the heartbroken pregnant woman in the next room.

Rose thought about her last conversation with The Doctor. It had certainly not gone the way she had expected. She had yet to decide whether it had gone better or worse than she had expected, probably worse. She had nearly told him that she was pregnant with his child, she actually had told him but had taken it back.

The Doctor knew her and she knew that there was a fair chance that he knew that she had lied. She didn't know whether she wanted this to be true or not. She put her hand on her stomach and sighed, so far the pregnancy was pretty similar to a human, except a bit slower. She hoped that it stayed that way. The only person who would know what the differences are and how to deal with them was The Doctor and he was unreachable now. Of course, she didn't just want his knowledge, she wanted him to be the one to embrace her instead of her mother and help her through the pregnancy and then be there for their child. But that was impossible now.

She let out a sob as she thought about it again, and held her mother a bit tighter. She really wanted The Doctor to comfort her and tell her everything was going to be okay, just as he had done back when they were on Krop Tor. But the situation was worse now, back then he had been with her, together they could handle almost every problem.

_But when they were apart?_

She put a hand to her stomach, it was really a wonder that she was pregnant or just (bad) luck. There was no question as of when the baby got conceived since they had only been _that_ intimate once. The Doctor, while making it clear that he didn't regret that it had happened, had explained to her that he was a bit against it if there wasn't a special occasion as it went against his people's morals and he wanted to keep some respect to them as last of the Time Lords. She understood and respected that decision.

Rose had to give him that their first (and only) time had been for a _very_ special occasion. It had been just after they had left Krop Tor, both of them had been very very happy that they had made it out alive.

* * *

Rose opened the TARDIS' door. The Doctor looked up at her and smiled. They ran to each other and he gathered her up into his arms, lifting her off the floor. They giggled, so happy to know that both of them were still alive. He put her down and kissed her, she kissed him back, quite passionate. They kept going like this until they needed air.

"Why must things like this always be ruined by something as stupid as breathing?" Rose said, causing The Doctor to chuckle, while he was trying to catch his breath.

The Doctor was still panting as he sent the TARDIS back into space and let her float around the spaceship a bit. He turned to Rose and tugged on his space suit.

"Any chance that you can help me getting out of this?" He asked the one question that fixed the event that would surely happen in the next hours between the two them.

"Sure." As she started helping him.

It took them 24 minutes to get him out of that space suit, this hadn't been without a fair share of kisses between the two of them, which resulted in both of them really wanting to take things to the bedroom. He stored the space suit for later use and activated the comm with the space ship again, while he tried to appear normal. But he knew that Rose wasn't fooled, in the same way he wasn't fooled by her.

"Zach? We'll be off, now. Have a good trip home." He paused a moment. "And the next time you get curious about something... oh... what's the point? You'll just go blundering in. The human race..."

"But Doctor, what did you find down there? That creature, what was it?" Ida asked him.

"I don't know! Never did decipher that writing. But that's good! Day I know everything? Might as well stop." he answered.

"What do you think it was? Really?" Rose asked.

"I think... we beat it. That's good enough for me." he told her.

"It said I was gonna die in battle."

The Doctor caught her eye.

"Then it lied." He told her with confidence, he was hoping it to be true. Gosh, he really wanted to take things further now, so happy that everything was over, but also to enjoy their limited time together. However, he didn't want to at the same time, because the Time Lords were totally against things like that and he wanted to keep their legacy up. But his love for the pink and yellow human standing very close to him won over the respect he had for the Time Lords.

"Right, onwards, upwards, Ida, see you again, maybe!" He told the other humans on the spaceship.

"I hope so." Ida said.

"And thanks, boys!" Rose said over the comm.

"Hang on though, Doctor. You never really said... you two... who are you?" Ida asked.

"Oh..." He looked at Rose, seeing the same desire in her eyes as he felt. Yep, they were certainly taking this to the bedroom. "The stuff of legends."

He pulled a lever and watched the time rotor rise and fall with Rose both of them smiling. That's when he couldn't take it anymore and turned to her, cupped her cheek and kissed her passionately once again. He broke the kiss and let her feel how much he wanted to have fun with her and she gasped.

"Do you want this?" He asked her.

"Yes, I do. Of course, I do." She pulled him into another passionate kiss.

"There's … only … one … thing …. left … to …. decide ..." He said in between kisses.

"Which is?" She asked before pulling him into yet another long kiss.

"Your bedroom … or mine?" He asked her.

"Whichever is closest." She started pulling him towards the hall.

The made a lot of stops to lean against the wall to kiss each other passionately (and, while neither of them would ever admit it later, nearly fell over 14 times.), Rose had put her hand in his hair and he had his hands on her back pulling her close to him.

It turned out that his bedroom was the closest, he opened the door as they leant against it, causing them to (finally) fall, the Doctor on his back and Rose on top of him. They giggled at this.

"This is going very smooth, isn't it?" Rose gave him a peck on the mouth and moved to get up.

"This is comfortable as well." He told her, as he prevented her from moving.

"And what's wrong with the bed standing barely 3 metres away from us." She asked him as she let her hand wander a bit.

"It's 3 metres too far away?" He tried, his voice going squeaky.

"Not good enough. Come on." She got up again and this time he didn't stop her but got up himself as well instead. He grabbed her by the waist, pulled her to him and kissed her once again. While he clumsy closed the door of his bedroom. They spent 5 and a half hours with their activities on that faithful night that both of them would come to think of as their best night ever, even years after this and even while they were completely irritated by the consequences of said night.

* * *

The Doctor stumbled backwards from the monitor, his eyes moistening again. He had just dropped Donna off at her home and had finally looked up Rose's medical record. It had told him exactly what he had suspected.

She was pregnant, with his child.

It was a boy, she had been a little over 3 weeks gone when they parted, something he had already known as he remembered that night perfectly fine. He put his face in his hand as he let out a small sob.

He hadn't just lost the love of his lives, but also his unborn son.

He stumbled towards the hall while tears were running freely over his face. The way that she had(n't) told him about the baby, made it clear to him that she did _want_ that baby. She probably would've married him as well. He would've been engaged if he hadn't been so...

He groaned, he was so angry at himself. He shouldn't have been so afraid to ask her to marry him. He pulled at his hair and groaned again, it hurt but it was the punishment he deserved, he could've given her so much more, but instead he had been too hesitant to stop following the Time Lords' law. Something he hadn't done before he murdered them.

"ARGGGGGHHHHHH!" He punched the wall out of frustration.

_Thonk!_

He should've realised his feelings earlier.

_Thonk!_

He should've confessed those feelings just after he found out about them.

_Thonk!_

He should've acted on those feeling earlier.

_Thonk!_

He shouldn't have been so hesitant to take things further.

_Thonk!_

He should've asked her to marry her.

_Thonk!_

He shouldn't have gotten her trapped in a parallel universe...

He let out a sob and leant against the wall he just punched with his palms flat and forehead leant against the wall. He barely felt the pain in his clearly broken hand.

He stood there for a few minutes, thinking about all the things he could've done if he hadn't been so scared of his own feelings. Tears were running freely over his face. He took a deep breath and started walking again, to _their_ room. He opened the door and looked around.

Both their clothes from the day before were lying on the floor, their bed unmade. It just looked like they were expecting to go back here just like it used to be, but it wasn't. He let out another sob. His eyes fell on the huge teddy-bear he had won for her, which was lying on the bed. The teddy-bear looked very hug-able at the moment and he walked towards the bed, his knees about to give out. He grabbed the teddy-bear pulled it into his arm and hugged it tightly, still barely feeling the pain in his hand. He climbed on the bed, got into fetal position and finally carried out his original plan before Donna had shown up.

_Sobbing until the end of the week._


	7. Moving On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Both The Doctor and Rose are adapting to a life without each other, or at least they're trying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, Guys, this chapter is basically a small ending to the disaster of Doomsday and a bit of an intro to 'Smith and Jones' which I'll cover in the sequel, which makes this the last chapter.

Sarah Jane was doing the dishes when she heard it, the unmistakable sound of the TARDIS. She sighed, as much as she loved seeing The Doctor, his visits usually brought trouble with them too. The last time she had seen him and Rose had been when they visited her on her birthday and the guests got nearly eaten by a two-headed alien. It had been hell to sort that out, in the end, she had managed to calm everyone down and convince them not to tell anybody. She went up the stairs and to the attic, where the sound had come from and was indeed greeted by the TARDIS. She waited until the doors opened and The Doctor to come out, except he didn't. This worried her, was he even in there? She took a step forward, about to knock on the door, when she heard the door click. The TARDIS had opened the door for her! This confirmed her suspicions, something was definitely wrong.

She pushed the door slowly open and walked into the console room. Nothing seemed to be wrong here, but just the mere view of a Doctor-less console room activated the alarm bells in her head, maybe he got injured or captured or something worse.

"What's wrong? Where's The Doctor." She asked the TARDIS, hoping that she could give here some information.

The TARDIS' response came in flicking light around the screen on the console, making it clear that she needed to read this, so she did.

**Medical file ~ 8th July 2007 14:47**

**Species: Human**

**Name: Rose Marion Tyler**

**Birth date: 27th April 1987**

**Gender: Female**

**Blood Type: B Positive**

~8~

**Important Abnormality:**

**Pregnant Test: Positive**

**Father: The Doctor**

**Gender: Male**

**Duration: 24 Days**

Sarah Jane gasped, Rose was pregnant with The Doctor's child. That was something she hadn't expected. At least not exactly, she was one of the few people who knew that they had started dating, not that they had been planning on telling her when she, but snogging in her living room while she was getting tea hadn't exactly been the smartest thing to do if they had wanted it to stay a secret for her. She just hadn't expected it to go so far, well, she actually had, but not this soon.

They had been so cute together, not that she ever would've told them that.

That was when she realised something else, she knew that something must be wrong, otherwise, they would've been here and told her the news themselves and the TARDIS had let her in and showed her this information in an attempt to tell her what was wrong. She paled.

_Did something happen to Rose!?_

She read the file again and noticed a horrible piece of information, which was the date of the file. The battle of Canary Wharf had taken place on 8th July!

_Oh no!_

"She died, didn't she?" She asked the TARDIS. The answer was a clear negative.

"She didn't die?" _Positive_

"Something did happen right?" _Positive._ She nodded to herself, the reason the TARDIS was here was probably that he was heartbroken and needed comfort.

"Where is he?" The lights flashed in the direction of the hallway and she took off. She followed the lights into a hallway and noticed something that made her stop in her tracks. There was a trail of blood on the wall. She sighed and braced herself for the mess she most likely was going to find and started following the lights again. The lights led to Rose's room, well she knew it was actually their shared room, Rose had told her that. She took a deep breath and opened the door. What she saw next broke her heart. The Doctor was lying on the right side of the bed, hugging a huge teddy bear to death while he was sobbing. His right hand was bleeding and clearly broken, that explained the blood on the wall, he must've punched it.

She sighed.

"Oh, Doctor." She walked to him and pulled him into an embrace, he promptly clung to her and cried into her chest. She ran her fingers through his hair in an attempt to soothe him a bit. They sat like this for a few moments when he had calmed down enough to speak a bit.

"I lost her." His voice was hoarse from the crying and he was clearly broken.

"What happened?" She asked he took a deep breath.

"Canary wharf." He took another breath. "She's not dead."

"I know, the TARDIS already told me that." He let out another sob.

"Did she tell... about the baby?" He asked.

"Yeah, she did. I'm so sorry Doctor." She felt the tears in her own eyes but fought them as she knew that he needed someone strong to comfort him, not someone who would cry with him. She would cry over the loss of Rose and the baby Time Lord later once the adult Time Lord had calmed down and had left.

"What am I going to do now?" He said after a while when he looked at her, not even trying to look normal, not that he could hide his sadness if he tried.

"How about we start with taking care of that hand." She carefully lifted his broken right hand, despite that he still hissed out in pain.

"That might be a good idea." He said through gritted teeth.

"Come on, get up." She pulled him up and he complied, he still looked like he was about to break down again and wasn't initiating anything apparently. It was so unlike him, that she was wondering if he would recover from this. Whether he would actually be able to move on. She took his left hand and slowly led him out of the room to the infirmary.

* * *

 

"Here sit down." She said as she led him to one of the beds and then looked around the infirmary. She was relieved to see that he hadn't changed the layout, so she knew where to find everything she needed. She had learnt how to take care of broken bones from her travels, he had once nasty broken his foot and had had a few dislocated bones. She had been given instructions on how to properly plaster him back then and she still knew how to do it.

She grabbed the device that allowed her to make a scan of his hand to know the extent of the damage, a device that would set the bones if they were dislocated and some futuristic plaster which was basically some sort of glove that would harden. She walked back to him and carefully lifted his hand again.

"Can you support it yourself so I can scan it?" She asked him and he nodded as he grabbed the wrist of his broken arm in his healthy hand, she scanned the hand and saw that he had indeed dislocated three of his bones.

"You dislocated some of your bones, I'll set them for you." He nodded and she moved to grab the device that would do that and carefully put it over his hand.

"I don't have to say that this is going to hurt, right?" He shook his head, he clearly had lost any ability to speak again.

She activated the device and he hissed in pain, she slowly moved the device towards the other bones to fix them. Eventually, the device gave a beep indicating that the bones were set.

"Okay, now I'll just plaster it, okay?" He nodded again, she carefully put on the glove on his hand and it hardened as soon as it was in place.

"Okay, all set, would you like some tea?" he nodded once again, her heart broke at the lost look in his eyes, she vowed to stay with him until he was feeling a bit better, although, she had her doubts whether this would happen.

* * *

Thankfully she was proved wrong, he quickly recovered a bit, he helped in the housework and gave his opinion about some of the aliens she came across, she forbade him to go out fighting them, as he still had his broken hand and she wasn't too convinced that his mental health was good either. He spend a lot of time with Luke, after learning the story of his creation, he helped the boy with his homework or just explained things she wouldn't even begin to understand and sometimes the things every teenage male (and apparently Time Lord males were included in that list.) had to learn, she was really grateful that she didn't have to figure out how to teach Luke that or that Luke had to figure these things out all on his own, Luke needed all the help to comprehend life, not having someone to teach him something most kids got taught would make it only more difficult for him to adapt.

She was glad that The Doctor still was capable of functioning, unfortunately, on occasion, she still found him on his own in pretty much the same way as she had found him the first day, or just with this lost expression. She had hidden the keys to the TARDIS in a place he would never look, until she would think him fit enough to travel again, she was considering giving him the requirement of finding a new companion to keep an eye on him, but she wasn't planning on letting him leave anytime soon anyway, he needed to process what had happened at least a bit before he could go on adventures again. What confirmed her idea that he wasn't ready yet, was the fact that he hadn't objected at all to this, a very uncharacteristic move for him as he would normally run away screaming at the mere thought of staying put in one place for too long.

He, however, had her worried three weeks after he had arrived, he was going out on his own shopping, something he had been doing for several times now, when he didn't come back. They had looked for him the whole afternoon and had eventually called it a night, they hadn't gone to the police as he wasn't human and somehow Mr Smith nor K9 could track him down. The next day they went, of course, looking for him again. She was walking through a street he would've passed on his way to the shops, for what felt like the millionth time that day, when she noticed something weird. There was a huge black cloud on top of the hospital and on top of the hospital _only_.

_Okay, that's weird._

Then she noticed that that was not the only weird thing going on.

The rain was going _up_!

All of a sudden there was a flash and then the hospital was _gone_!

"Oh my…." Sarah Jane breathed, then the pieces of the puzzle fell together and she was not happy with the results.

_If it turns out that he was in that hospital the whole time, I'll kill him into his next regeneration once he gets back!_

* * *

"The baby is still growing at the same rate as usual, about three times as slow as a normal human baby." the doctor that she was visiting told Rose.

"Any complications?"

"None as we can see."

"Good." she nodded, although she was a thousand miles away, as she always was when she was visiting the Torchwood doctor, somehow she always had to think of The Doctor when she was visiting that doctor. She wanted The Doctor to be the one screening her pregnancy, but as she was here she always got reminded of the fact that The Doctor wasn't here. She just hoped that it would be over soon, then she could direct her thoughts somewhere else easier.

"Was that it?"

"Yeah, you may go now, miss Tyler."

"Thank you." She stood up and left the examination room, which was located on floor 12 of Torchwood, she herself worked at floor 18 as an alien expert, there had been no debate about it, she wouldn't go out for field work because she was pregnant. It made sense and she actually liked this job, giving her opinion and advice about the aliens. Of course, she would've like field work better than this, but she wouldn't argue as it was the better for the baby.

She still missed The Doctor but at this point, she had the feeling that she could manage without him, however, she hoped that she would somehow get back to him before the baby is born.

But for now, she would make sure that she and the baby would stay healthy.

The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for bearing with me this long, like I said before there will be a sequel which will be an AU of series 3 and 4 up to and including Turn Left, I am planning on adding Journey's End in the third part (wow I'm thinking ahead :O). The sequel will only cover the things that are AU and not the things that are practically the same, so basically what I've done with The Runaway Bride.


End file.
